The Seamstresses' Guild

Description
Onkh-Morpark has many seamstresses, yet many an old widower will find it difficult to find someone who can thread their old pants. The seamstresses in the Seamstresses' Guild are, in the politically-correct language of the modern Onkh-Morpark, ladies of negotiable affection. Ladies whose company and loving attention, crudely put, could be hired for a night. A survey of the Merchant Guild in the Shades area of the city found 1587 women who gave their profession as "seamstress" – and two needles.

The head of the guild is Mrs. Rosemary Palm; "Mrs" indicating seniority rather than marital status. Under her wise tutelage, the ladies of the Guild can safely ply their trade, catering to many different tastes. It is however very unwise to try and harm the girls without their explicit consent. The Guild keeps a few members on hand who are experts in the not-so-gentle art of overly thorough circumcision.

The Tearoom
The Tearoom is the Guild House of the Seamstresses' Guild. Officially it is a workplace where the girls can sew, stitch and mend clothing while enjoying a nice hot cup of tea, some crumpets and the comforts of a nice seat. In reality, every knows it is actually a giant brothel where gentlemen with discerning tastes can come to enjoy the flavors of a wide variety of girls. And boys. And creatures that defy any notions of sex or gender. Mrs. Palm is widely known as its Madame.

The Widespread Arms
One of the few true inns in the city, which, perhaps not coincidentally, is located across the street from the Seamstresses Guild's Tearoom. It is said that arms are sometimes not the only thing that are spread wide in the inn. It is therefore ideal for Immediately Before, Immediately Afterwards, During, or all three. It is managed by a former Seamstress named Dolores.

Notable People

 * Mrs. Rosemary Palm: The current Missus of the Seamstresses' Guild. Although she's not getting any younger, Mrs. Palm is still quite fetching and very popular with those who prefer their women a little riper. She is a clever and sociable woman with excellent judge of character, but also fiercely protective of her girls and sometimes tends to be a little too insistent on reminding customers what will befall them if they break the Guild's unwritten rules.